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Entertainment: Chuck Norris....

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1 to 6 of 6

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      CommentAuthorDurrendel
    • CommentTimeApr 7th 2006
     # 1
    so unless youve lived under a rock for the last few months youve heard about the chuck norris jokes.... it even went so far as to have a mod made for WoW that when u type /chucknorris it will spout a random one for ya....


    pwnage....



    heres a few of my favs

    Acording to the string theory, there was a universe filled with nothing but Chuck Norris' unfortunitly they all decided to roundhouse kick at once and now theres a Chuck Norris in every universe.

    God was going to make the earth in 14 days, Chuck gave him 6.

    After the ill-fated fight with Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris riped down his pants and said "BEAT THAT CHINAMAN!" Bruce Lee's head exploded from the shock.

    Chuck Norris and Mr.T once met opn a lonely strech of French beach. Anticipating the upcoming fight the Earth shit out England (burn rez)

    President Truman debated long and hard before droping the A-Bomb opn Japan, he also thought about using america's other super weapon, Chuck Norris, but decided that would be too inhumane.
    •  
      CommentAuthortakai
    • CommentTimeApr 8th 2006
     # 2
    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
    •  
      CommentAuthorChris Ace
    • CommentTimeApr 8th 2006
     # 3
    It's said that Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...


    TOO BAD HE'S NEVER CRIED
    •  
      CommentAuthorqhiiyr
    • CommentTimeApr 8th 2006 edited
     # 4
    Chuck Norris once came home one Thanksgiving night to find that his wife had burnt the turkey. Instead of getting mad, Chuck went outside, caught another turkey, swallowed it whole, then threw it up fully cooked. When his wife asked "How did you do that?" Chuck roundhouse-kicked her to the face. "Nobody questions Chuck Norris."

    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. Only another fist.

    Chuck Norris once breathed life back into a dying baby lamb. As the lamb got up and a crowd was forming, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the lamb in the face to remind the people, Chuck giveth, and the great Chuck, he taketh away.

    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Chuck Norris once sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and athletic ability. He then decided he wanted his soul back, so he roundhouse-kicked the devil to the face. The devil, finding this ironic, had a good laugh with Chuck, and they now play poker every Tuesday.

    The fastest car in the world has eight speeds. ...six, seven, and Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.

    Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and kill.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

    Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

    Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    Chuck Norris' hand is the only one that can beat a royal flush.

    There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

    If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just look at an extinct species list.

    When Chuck Norris goes in water, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

    Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

    For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

    Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

    Chuck Norris doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".

    The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.

    Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

    Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in 22 seconds.
    •  
      CommentAuthortakai
    • CommentTimeApr 14th 2006
     # 5
    "Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding."
    XD That was great.
    •  
      CommentAuthorGary
    • CommentTimeMay 7th 2006
     # 6
    Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called, the Islands.

    In a race between Superman and The Flash, who would win? Chuck Norris

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