Entertainment: A list for you all!!!

So this blond is walking on the side walk. She sees a bananna peel on the ground. she says " oh no, I'm gonna fall again!"

A brunette and a blond jump off a plane. who lands first? the brunette because the blond had to stop and ask for directions.

A blond opened a coke bottle top to see if she won anything. it said "try again" so she closed the bottle and re-opend it like a million times. aparently, she never seemed to have won anything.

How does a blond try kill a fish? she drowns it.

What does a blond use when she has her period? A band-aid.

Why are blonds so dumb? I dont know.

This blond had locked her keys inside her car. and she says" ah damn it! its starting to rain and the roof is down!!!

A blond and a brunette had a swimming contest. they had to swim breast stroke, the brunette won and 3 hours later, the blond came and said"No FAIR!! SHE USED HER ARMS!

Did you hear about that blond who went sky diving? She missed the earth.

Why is it good to be driving with a blonde? So you have an exuse to park in the handicaped area.

Ever hear about the blonde who shot an arrow in the air? well, she
missed.

Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.
Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.
Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.
Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.
Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass.
Yo mama's so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.
Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
Yo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry.
Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.
Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
Yo mama's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
Yo mama's so nasty, her tits give sour milk.
Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo mama's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
Yo mama's so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
Yo mama's so nasty, she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas.
Yo mama's so nasty, she breeds crabs.
Yo mama's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."
Yo mama's so nasty, she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
Yo mama's so nasty, she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
Yo mama's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.
Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
Yo mama's so nasty, she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs alive.
Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
Yo mama's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
Yo mama's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.
Yo mama's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
Yo mama's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.

Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.
Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo mama's so old, she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.
Yo mama's so old, she drove a chariot to high school.
Yo mama's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
Yo mama's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book.
Yo mama's so old, she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.
Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
Yo mama's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.
Yo mama's so old, she used to gang bang with the Flintstone's.
Yo mama's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo mama's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
Yo mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.
Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.
Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.
Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.
Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.
Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.
Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.
Yo mama's so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style.
Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.
Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, how'd you get out so fast."
Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.
Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.
Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.
Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.
Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous.
Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.
Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.
Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.
Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"
Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even bare the thought of fucking herself.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.
Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.
Yo mama's so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.
Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.
Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.
Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.
Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away.
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.
Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.
Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair.
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so ugly, that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.
Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.
Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits.
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.
Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.
Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.
Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.
Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!
Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ass, then her face, and said "Twins!"
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"
Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"
Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like shit 'cause he'd rather kiss her ass.
Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly, your real pops could only be a fuckin' dog.